Visualizing Consistently Can Positively Impact Short-Term and Long-Term Mental Health

Today’s question comes from a parent who is struggling to feel confident about her day-to-day performance both at home and at work, and specifically modeling optimism and proper preparation to her children. Dr. Selk — I often look back on my day and feel I got little done and what I did get done were done poorly. I find that I am hard on myself that saps confidence, which creates a negative cycle going forward. And worst part is that my kids see my low self-confidence and stress, which I can't effectively hide and lately, I feel that they also are having a hard time. How can I feel better prepared to do better each day and regain my confidence?

P.T.S.D. Point of View

My (Jason Selk) youngest daughter Genevieve will be heading to college soon, but let me tell you the story of one of my favorite moments with her when she was just 10. It was 6:30 on Sunday morning, and she and I were in the car headed to play in her second full-day volleyball tournament. I asked her how she was feeling. This is how the conversation went:

Me: You ready to play?
Genevieve: Yeah, I feel much better today than yesterday.
Me: Were you not feeling well yesterday?
Genevieve: I felt great yesterday.
Me: You won every match yesterday and you feel better today?
Genevieve: I visualized last night before going to bed. I pictured myself waking up feeling great, and that is exactly how I feel. Just like I visualized.
Me: (smiling)
Genevieve: My coach told me I needed to be more aggressive going after “in between” balls. So I visualized doing that, too.
Me: (still smiling) Anything else?
Genevieve: I saw myself making the game-winning point, and our team winning the tournament.

This was a “proud dad” moment for me for several reasons.

As a performance coach and dad, I know the most impactful way to influence my children’s behaviors and mental strength is to model it myself. Yes, they have heard a lecture or two (or hundreds) from me on the same core fundamentals that I teach my clients, but I have to remember that my kids are not paying for my services, and this poses a real challenge in my approach to “coaching” them. Let me explain. When a client pays to work with me, they are quite literally invested in hearing what I have to say. That gives them (and me) a huge advantage for actually listening and implementing what I teach them. To my kids, I am “dad,” which carries a different mentality than “Dr. Selk.”

So hearing Genevieve implement visualization was a huge win for me. Yes, she had heard me talk about it a million times.

But she had also observed me visualizing my own wins on a daily basis.

Just as you are directed to do in Level Up. The work you are putting into yourself pays huge dividends to what your kids adopt. Now, let’s talk about why visualization, in particular, is so impactful.

In sport, athletes practice all the time. In the real world, visualization is how the greats practice. Visualization is the most effective tool in the field of sports psychology for improving execution. Frankly, the research on visualization states that if a person is not visualizing on a consistent basis, there is no way he or she is performing to potential. We know from the research that visualization is an incredibly impactful too, yet so many people are not taking advantage of it’s power, especially outside of the sports world.

And let me be clear, your job as a parent is more important than an athlete’s job on the field.

Visualization is a foundational part of your daily training in Level Up, and what most people don’t realize is that a little visualization goes a long way.

In fact, research suggests that one minute of visualization is worth seven minutes of actual practice!

Keep these three tips in mind when visualizing:

1. Short Bursts: Remember, a little bit goes a long way. You do not need to visualize the whole event or performance. Visualize in 10-second clips. For example, see yourself arriving home from the office, walking in the door, and feeling calm and energized as your kids run up to give you a “welcome home hug.”

2. First Person: Watch your visualization from your own viewpoint. While watching your scene from third person is still beneficial, imagining from your own first person viewpoint makes it much more true-to-life and “stickier.”

3. Feel It: Pay attention to how you want to feel. Visualizing feeling confident, energized, and happy. actually causes you to feel that way. Over time, this strengthens those positive neural pathways and makes these feelings more normal for us.

Try to visualize daily. If you are already a Level Up user, this is taken care of it for you in your daily training, but, if not, be sure to set a time in your day when you will take 30 seconds to visualize three things you want to do well in the upcoming day. For example, you might see yourself waking up before your alarm and getting right after your workout (10 seconds). Then you might shift to seeing yourself feeling confident and clear delivering your presentation that afternoon (10 seconds). And then you might finish with seeing yourself sitting down to dinner with your family without your phone, and feeling a strong sense of presence and connectedness with them (10 seconds).

Just 30 seconds per day is all that you need to start using visualization to you advantage. If a 10-year old can do it, you can, too.