Competing Hard:
Jason Selk's Guide to Nurturing Youth Athletes without Becoming Crazy Sports Parents
Competing in youth sports can be a rewarding experience for young athletes, but it also comes with challenges. As a parent, it's essential to support your child's athletic journey without succumbing to the pressures of being a "crazy sports parent." Today, Dr. Jason Selk provides specific strategies to help youth athletes compete hard, set effective goals, and maintain a healthy balance in sports and life as well as ways for parents to support their journey without becoming counterproductive and worse yet, ruining the relationship.
Understanding the Role of Parents in Youth Sports
Understanding the parent's role: Parents play a crucial role in supporting their child's athletic endeavors, but it's essential to strike a balance between encouragement and pressure. Create a positive environment by foster a non-judgmental and supportive environment for your child by emphasizing effort, improvement, and enjoyment rather than solely focusing on outcomes.
Parents Should Teach Setting Effective Goals for Youth Athletes
Understanding goal setting: Teach youth athletes the importance of setting both product goals (outcome-based) and process goals (behavior-based) to enhance performance and motivation. Convey SMART goal setting by encouraging athletes to set Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART) goals to provide clarity and direction in their training and competition.
In Level Up's Parental Mental Health and Self-Care Training, we guide you through exercises that make it simple yet powerful to clarify your child's and your long-term vision for the sport, long-term and achievable result driven goals and then the day-to-day behavior driving process goals critical to immediate and long-term success.
Maintaining Balance and Perspective as an Athete Parent
Avoiding overemphasis on sports: Encourage athletes to maintain a balance between sports and other aspects of their lives, such as academics, relationships, and hobbies. Promote perspective (both yours and theirs) by reminding youth athletes that sports are just one aspect of their identity and that their worth is not solely determined by their athletic achievements. Same for you, look yourself in the mirror regularly and especially after any conflict driven by your child's sports or athletic performance by asking yourself whether she or he or they simply are a vehicle of your athletic dreams or whether you truly are unconditionally supporting their HOBBY. The idea of your child making a living from the sport they are participating is farfetched, keep this perspective while nurturing competitiveness, sportsmanship, honor and love of the game.
Effective Family Communication and Support
Open communication: Foster open and honest communication between parents, coaches, and athletes, creating a supportive network that prioritizes the athlete's well-being. Provide constructive feedback when you do have something to say by offering constructive feedback to athletes in a positive and supportive manner, focusing on areas for improvement rather than criticism.
In Level Up's Parental Mental Health and Self-Care Training, you will be guided through a powerful set of exercises we call Vision of Self-Image, which includes a Relationship Vision. If you are a deeply involved in your child's sport and this is a very important part of your family dynamics or relationship with that child, be sure to focus on that as part of this exercise that allows you to clarify and have perspective that then drives the various goals and outcomes you hope for.
Modeling Positive Behavior as Parents
Leading by example: Set a positive example for your child by demonstrating good sportsmanship, resilience, and a healthy approach to competition. Specifically manage your emotions and practice emotional regulation as a parent, avoiding outbursts or overreactions during games and competitions. Visualize (another key teaching in Level Up) your behavior before attending a game or match and then keenly observe other parents, especially behavior that feels disgusting and damaging to their own children — making mental notes will help you catch yourself next time you feel the temperature gauge about to blow.
Implementation is the Key to being a Successful Athlete Parent
By implementing these specific strategies, parents can support their youth athletes in competing hard while maintaining a healthy perspective on sports and life. With a focus on goal setting, mental toughness, balance, effective communication, and positive role modeling, parents can nurture their child's athletic development and help them thrive both on and off the field.