LEVEL UP PARENTING
KEY SUMMARY
Building confidence in kids requires intentional parenting and consistent support. Encourage them to take on challenges, celebrate their efforts, and set realistic goals. Allowing them to experience failure while offering guidance fosters resilience. Teaching positive self-talk, modeling confident behavior, and nurturing curiosity helps them develop a strong sense of self. Avoid being overly critical, and focus on progress rather than perfection. By creating a supportive environment and offering unconditional encouragement, parents can raise confident children ready to face life’s challenges with determination and perseverance.

Do you worry your kid might struggle with self-doubt as they grow up?

As parents, it’s only natural to fear that your child might fail or remain under-confident. Confidence isn’t something your kids are gifted with; it’s something you must help them build. It’s more than just stressing over their school presentations — it gets them ready to take on bigger life challenges. However, building confidence in kids requires serious mindfulness.

At Level Up Game Plan, we’ve seen how a lack of confidence affects your child’s mental health and future. However, the good news is - with some proactive measures and hands-on tips, building confidence in kids is entirely possible to help your kids live to the fullest!

10 Tips for Building Confidence in Kids

Research reveals that children with low self-esteem end up doubting their ability to move ahead in life or succeed. While parents shrug off the issue, believing they’re young, this leads to serious personality impairment in kids as they grow older. In other words, building confidence in kids as you raise them is a non-negotiable step of successful parenting.

If you don’t know where to begin, here’s a set of tips to follow to raise more confident, optimistic, and self-assertive kids:

Prioritize Effort Over Results

Nowadays, it’s easy to blur the lines between efforts and results. Like every other parent, you wish to see your child on top. But what matters the most is the effort they put in. It’s okay if the results aren’t as quick as you expect, but don’t let this stop you from acknowledging they’re still trying.

Encourage Your Kids to Take On Challenges

Being protective of your children is great, but what’s more important is encouraging them to take on age-appropriate challenges. If you stop them, they might believe you doubt their abilities to pull off certain situations. While you gear them up for risks, tell them, ‘It’s okay to fail — everyone does at one point or the other.’

For example, if they hesitate to participate in a contest, encouraging them to do so plays a massive role in self-assuring them.

Don’t Be Overly Critical

Help your kids to learn that mistakes are a part of everyone’s journey. The strength, however, lies in learning from them rather than dwelling on them. Raising confident kids requires patience during times they don’t live up to your expectations. The more you nitpick, the more self-doubt begins to take over. Tell them what’s right, and move on to better things!

Set Realistic Goals

Goal setting is an extremely important step in building confidence in kids, but ensure that your goals are smart, achievable, and, of course, realistic. Achieving the goals tells your kids what they’re capable of, which stops them from undermining themselves.

Ideally, break long-term goals into shorter milestones. When kids take one step at a time, they feel a sense of accomplishment, which builds trust in themselves. Bonus tip? Build a journal or bullet planner for goal-setting to make things easier.

Allow Them to Fail or Falter

A quote by Paulo Coelho goes, “The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” This means that trial and error isn’t bad, but a way your kids learn to grow. If they don’t achieve their goals timely or fail, let them. Although this might seem tough as a protective parent, this often nudges your kids into working harder the next time.

Offer Unconditional Support

Wondering how to raise confident kids? This isn’t quite possible until you’re ready to offer unconditional support. In other words, your children must feel you’re there, regardless of how they’re doing in life. It’s important to tell them they are valued much more than their successes or setbacks.

Teach Positive Self-Talk

Lack of confidence often stems from negative self-talk. Check for negative thoughts or statements like “I can’t,” “I’m not capable enough,” or “I can never” and seek to correct them. While this step in building confidence in kids takes some time, it’s crucial to address it. To do so, model positive self-talk and help them challenge their negativity.

Showcase Your Confident Self

Even if you don’t feel confident enough, don’t show this to your kids. You’re your child’s first role model. Knowingly or unknowingly, they adopt everything you do. When they see you take on challenges without fearing the outcomes, they feel encouraged to act the same way. This, ultimately, breaks them free from their shells to face life.

Encourage Curiosity

Curious children are confident children. If they ask questions or seek out information, they likely believe in their ability to learn. As a responsible parent, don’t get frustrated even if your kid bombards you with questions. You’re in luck! Instead, answering their questions calmly plays a vital role in building confidence in kids.

Help Them Develop Perseverance

Remember—confidence doesn’t mean nailing it all. Instead, it means being brave enough to try again after a setback. Teach your kids patience, perseverance, and the ability to remain strong. If things don’t work out one time, they eventually will, right? But it takes a boatload of perseverance to keep trying!

FAQs

How to Encourage My Shy Child to Become More Confident?

If you’re a parent to a shy child, some of the best ways to allow them to live a more confident life include letting them make decisions, modeling behaviors you wish for them to develop, and preparing them for challenges beforehand.

Should I Step in When My Kid Goes Through Failure in Life?

Although it’s a great idea to offer encouragement when your child fails, it’s equally important to let them navigate their own path. This teaches responsibility and helps your kids learn from their experiences instead of relying on you.

Does My Parenting Style Affect My Child’s Confidence?

Yes, raising confident kids has more to do with your parenting style than you think. Children raised under authoritative parenting tend to have higher self-esteem. This positive approach helps children learn without being overly critical.

Conclusion

Building confidence in kids takes effort, but it doesn’t have to be so complex. Practices like setting smart goals, encouraging them, and developing a positive self-image help your kids conquer self-doubts in no time. For parents seeking guidance along the journey, tools like Level Up Game Plan are ready to help you build a more confident future for your kids!

Dr. Jason Selk

Written By Dr. Jason Selk

Co-Founder, Level Up Game Plan

Dr. Jason Selk is a renowned mental performance coach and author, specializing in mental toughness and high-performance training. As the Director of Mental Training for the St. Louis Cardinals, he helped the team win two World Series titles. Dr. Selk's mission with Level Up Game Plan is to equip parents with practical tools to improve mental health and family well-being.

Read More »»