How To Teach Delayed Gratification To Your Children?

Enforcing delayed gratification is one of those things that most parents intuitively learn throughout their parenting journey. However, the recent state of the world has made a proactive approach almost a necessity. As such, many new parents have started their research on the topic.

Understanding Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification means resisting immediate rewards to get a substantially better reward later. The ability to resist the urge for instant gratification is related to the emotional health, self-awareness, and mental well-being of a person.

Delaying gratification requires strong willpower, and the extent to which one can resist the temptation directly correlates to one's mental fortitude. In a situation where one can make an impulsive choice, said impulsive choice will always, without fail, produce more immediate gratification.

Psychologists have researched the concept of delayed gratification extensively over the years. Results show how staggering of an impact the ability to delay gratification can have among children when they step into adulthood.

Why Is Learning Delayed Gratification Important?

Delayed gratification directly correlates to a person's ability to resist sudden impulses. At a fundamental level, being able to delay gratification is essentially a precursor to long-term thinking.

Research on delayed gratification shows that children accustomed to it do significantly better academically in certain demographics. While current research is still limited by sample size, and only measures academic success as the ultimate yardstick, it is safe to say that the competency will most likely translate into other facets of their lives.

So far, it is a well-established fact that the ability to delay gratification directly enhances willpower, and rational thinking skills. Having the patience to resist immediate temptations is great for a growing adult. However, the benefits of delayed gratification aren't limited to the psychological domain.

A study on lack of willpower shows that children who are not disciplined in delayed gratification are far more likely to suffer from childhood obesity due to overeating. Usually, other facets of 'pleasure' also add to this phenomenon. But ultimately, a lot of it boils down to weak mental fortitude. And mental fortitude, as mentioned earlier, can be trained using delayed gratification.

Ways To Instill Delayed Gratification In Children

Now that you’re convinced of the importance of delayed gratification, you need a method to actually use it on your children. This is where things can get a bit tricky. You can’t just sit your kid down and explain to them why delayed gratification is good, that’s just not going to work.

What you need to do is subtly influence their behavior by manipulating certain scenarios in their everyday life.

Create A Goal-Based Rewarding System

Consciously teaching a kid about delayed gratification needs to start small. You can’t introduce a rigid behavioral structure and expect them to follow it. You need to start things small and create a reward-based goal-setting system.

The formula for practicing delayed gratification means creating a situation where the child needs to do something boring for a short time, and then reward them for it. You need to start with very small tasks and slowly progress to longer tasks that can span days, weeks, or even months. The younger the child, the shorter the task has to be.

Teach them concepts of if/then. If they wait before doing certain tasks, reward them for their wait. Increase their patience by slowly creating situations where a reward is at the end of the task. You can artificially create a reward system for other tasks, like homework and chores.

One of the most effective activities for doing this is cooking. Make the children a part of the food preparation process. You don't necessarily need to have them cook at the stove, just having them make the table wash some ingredients will suffice.

Introduce Them To Mindfulness Exercises

Children are not as sensible as adults. You can't expect them to resist the temptations of instant gratification with sheer willpower alone. Instead, introduce them to certain easy mindfulness exercises.

Things like positive self-talk, and calm breathing exercises work quite well for children. Such things are less effective on adults because, at the back of our minds, we know that their effect is largely related to our own ability. But children hold on to those things like they are divine laws.

If an adult the child looks up to tells them that taking three deep breaths will make them more focused. You can be sure that the child will believe he's getting more focused. It's the power of belief. The important factor to keep in mind is the first part. An adult who the child looks up to has to be the one to introduce the technique.

Hide The Temptations

The next task is to create a suitable environment for delayed gratification. Children aren't monks. They can't resist temptation if it's always dangling in front of them. So, if they have an easily available method of getting a short burst of pleasure from something, you can bet any number of things that they’ll take it.

For small children, it’s better to just remove all the avenues of instant gratification altogether. The phrase out of sight, out of mind couldn’t be more apt. The harbinger of instant gratification in this day and age is the smartphone.

The internet is designed to give short bursts of instant gratification to keep the viewer hooked. Limit your child's access to such platforms as much as possible without antagonizing them, or alienating them from their peers.

Conclusion

Helping your child practice delayed gratification will help create a solid foundation for their adult lives. It's a proven method to strengthen their delicate psyche. So do not take this lightly. At the same time, don't go overboard with the rewards, otherwise it'll create unrealistic expectations.

Children are smart, so you need to learn certain techniques and methods to stay a few steps ahead of them. Feel free to visit us for more innovative parenting skills.

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