Do you ever wonder what your life might look like if confidence was never an issue?
I talk to parents every day who feel stuck, doubting their decisions, second-guessing their choices, and constantly wondering if they're "doing it right." Trust me—you're not alone. I've spent over two decades working as a cognitive behavior therapist, and the one thing I've seen time and again is that confidence isn't something you're simply born with; it's a skill you build.
Confidence is Built by Doing, Not Just Thinking
One of the most impactful things I learned early in my practice is that confidence doesn’t come from reading books or listening to motivational talks alone. You need to take action. I often share with parents the concept of doing small things consistently, which creates powerful shifts in how you feel about yourself.
This is why I’m such a strong advocate for using a simple to-do list. Lists aren't just for organizing your day; they're actually incredibly effective at building your self-confidence. Every task you check off is a mini celebration—a reminder that you’re capable and moving forward.
Build Confidence Through What You're Already Good
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In my practice, parents regularly tell me about their struggles and rarely acknowledge their successes. One thing I constantly remind them (and myself!) is to focus on strengths. Confidence isn’t built by constantly trying to fix what's wrong—it's strengthened by recognizing what's right.
Think about what you've already done well. Maybe you're patient when your toddler throws a tantrum, or you cook dinners that make everyone smile. Remembering these small victories can reshape how you see yourself. For instance, I often practice something called the "Done Well" ritual. It's a quick, intentional moment each day to acknowledge successes, which is something we cover deeply in our daily mental health app. (Link out to product/service here)
Your Inner Dialogue Shapes Your Confidence
Many parents don’t realize just how powerful their inner dialogue is. In my own experience, negative self-talk is often the biggest barrier to building genuine confidence. If you constantly criticize yourself internally, you’re essentially becoming your own worst enemy.
A strategy that has transformed many of my clients' lives—and my own—is practicing affirmations. Affirmations might sound simple, but psychology experts highlight that positive affirmations truly work because they rewire your brain to believe more empowering thoughts. Here's a helpful breakdown that explains the science behind affirmations in simple terms.
Confidence Comes from Facing Your Fears Head-On
Dr. Jason Selk, my co-founder at Level Up Game Plan, often emphasizes that avoiding uncomfortable situations only fuels your fears. True confidence is built when you face what scares you, even if it's uncomfortable. Start with something small—perhaps a phone call you’ve been putting off or initiating a conversation you find intimidating.
When you consistently practice bravery, even in tiny ways, your confidence grows. Overcoming discomfort helps your mind learn that fear isn't as powerful as it seems.
Boost Confidence by Teaching It to Your Kids
I’m a firm believer that teaching your children confidence is one of the best ways to reinforce your own. It’s one of the principles I've dedicated significant time to exploring in my practice. When you show your kids how to build confidence through daily actions, it naturally reinforces your own belief in yourself.
If you're wondering how to practically teach your children confidence, I've outlined effective strategies in another post filled with actionable tips for raising confident kids. Many parents I've worked with have found tremendous growth in themselves while nurturing this quality in their children.
Consistency is the Key to Lasting Confidence
Something Dr. Selk always emphasizes is the value of consistency. When you commit to confidence-building practices every day—even if just for a few minutes—you’re creating habits that transform your mindset. Small actions add up and eventually become your default response.
One method that I've found particularly effective is journaling regularly about personal achievements and growth. Our app has a dedicated journal feature because we've observed how powerful journaling can be in strengthening mental health and confidence. (Link out to Level Up Daily Journal here)
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Building unstoppable confidence is absolutely possible, but remember you don't have to do it all by yourself. There's strength in community and support. Our mental health app provides structured guidance and resources specifically for parents. Our goal is to help you manage stress, anxiety, and self-doubt in a realistic, achievable way. (CTA: Encourage readers to sign up here)
If you're serious about transforming your daily life and becoming the confident parent you want to be, I encourage you to take that first step today.
References
- Babauta, Leo. “25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence.” Zen Habits, zenhabits.net/25-killer-actions-to-boost-your-self-confidence/. Accessed 25 Mar. 2025.
- Glover, Angela. “A Psychologist Explains Why Affirmations Actually Work.” POPSUGAR Health, www.popsugar.com/health/psychologist-explains-power-affirmations-47371346. Accessed 25 Mar. 2025.