Have you ever received feedback from the teacher that your child doesn’t engage in class activities, even though you know how capable they are? You’re not alone, and it’s more common than you think.
Studies show that 85% of people worldwide suffer from low self-esteem, and that starts from childhood. This eventually leads to challenges in academic performance and social interactions for the kids.
Source: Growth Tactics
However, the good news is there’s a solution for it. You don’t need any fancy, complicated strategies to make a lasting impact. Simply follow these five tips to raise confident kids, and you’ll start seeing a significant difference.
Why Confidence Matters in Child Development?
Before discussing tips for raising confident kids, it’s important to understand why confidence matters in a child’s overall growth.
Confidence is more than just self-belief, as most people think. It’s the foundation for how children approach challenges, form relationships, and view themselves and the world around them.
If you don’t want your kids to suffer the same fate as many other not-so-confident kids, you need to follow some proven strategies, which we’ll be discussing next. It’ll also help you become a more present parent and also help your kids become a better version of themselves.
Even research shows that kids with high self-esteem have better chances to excel academically, socially, and emotionally. But why’s that? It’s because kids with higher confidence are willing to learn more, face difficult situations, and have better resilience.
5 Proven Tips to Raise Confident Kids
As a parent, you might look back at your own childhood and remember moments when a lack of confidence held you back. Now, I know you don’t want that for your kid. So, to help you, we’ve compiled five tips to raise confident kids and explained each point as simply as possible.
1. Teach and Honor Boundaries
Children, especially those who are naturally kind and giving, may hesitate to set boundaries for fear of disappointing others. Does this sound familiar? I actually found this tip while searching for tips on Reddit to raise confident kids, and it just hit me that this is something many kids face, but as parents, we fail to recognize it. For additional insights, check out our article on mastering anger management in parenting.
How to Make it Better?
Encourage your kids: Encourage your kids to express their needs and preferences, even softly or hesitantly, and honor the boundaries - this is what we believe is part of being a present parent. It will empower your kids and make them feel confident in their right to say “No” to things they don’t feel comfortable doing. This tip is ideal for parents wanting to know how to build confidence in a sensitive child.
Validate their feelings: Respond with immediate validation if your child makes a small or quiet request, such as expressing a preference or reluctance. Additionally, help your child understand that setting boundaries doesn’t mean they’re being unkind or hurting others. Your job as parents is to teach those kids that healthy, respectful people will always accept their boundaries without pressure.
Create a safe space at home: For some parents, speaking up about something to set boundaries might be taken as opposing them, which is not the right approach. In fact, setting boundaries at home is essential for child growth. When children feel safe expressing themselves in the home, they’ll build the confidence to assert their boundaries outside the familial environment.
2. The 3C Strategy: Connection, Competence and Choice
The 3C strategy is based on Richard Ryan and Edward Deci's self-determination theory. It focuses on three key factors: connection, competence, and choice. Each plays a crucial role in building confidence in kids and this approach is especially helpful as your children grow older—check out our advice on motivating your teenager for success to read more around this
- Confidence is about forming positive relationships. It helps kids communicate with confidence.
- Competence refers to developing necessary skills and abilities that assist children in solving all the problems independently.
- Choice is making a choice that encourages autonomy and allows children to make decisions which strengthen their confidence.
How to Implement the 3C Strategy?
- Confidence: Allow your child to build meaningful connections with others and help them develop a supportive network.
- Competence: Help them develop essential skills, ranging from technical abilities to soft skills like communication or problem-solving.
- Choice: Encourage your kids to make decisions independently, without considering what others will say.
You should also spend time doing activities to build self-confidence in a child, ask about their day, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. When you intentionally engage with your child, you also improve your ability to manage parental anxiety, as being present and connected reduces stress for you and your child.
3. The “Risky Play” Principle
Parents are usually overly careful with their kids so they don’t get hurt physically. However, recently, I came across an article on “Risky Play,” which changed my perspective.
Yes, it’s important to protect your kids from harm, but you need to understand that doing so hinders their ability to test their limitations. Let me explain how it works:
As kids, we used to go to the park, play outside, run like crazy, and do all kinds of things to have fun. Now, I understand the world is way different from what it was back then, but this principle can still be implemented.
How to Encourage Risky Play?
- Create a safe environment where your kids can explore and take calculated risks, like playgrounds with climbing structures or nature trails.
- Allow your kid to fall down occasionally and manage challenges independently (just make sure they don’t get hurt badly).
- Support them in trying new activities that push their comfort zone.
A study published in Child Indicators Research found that engagement in risky play is positively associated with children's well-being, involvement, and physical activity. The findings suggest that providing opportunities for risky play can support children's everyday experiences and bring positive outcomes in early childhood education.
This approach can also motivate your teenager for success, as calculated risks teach them problem-solving skills and self-reliance, which are essential for their growth.
4. Celebrate Failures Along With Successes
Celebrating failures and success might sound wrong to some parents, but it’s the right approach to raising confident kids.
In 2018, the Programme for International Student Assessment conducted research that revealed that students who had a higher fear of failure lacked a growth mindset. To prove this point further, a pilot study was conducted, which found a direct correlation between a lower fear of failure and a growth mindset.
You might wonder how this applies to your kids. It’s simple. When you keep your kids in fear that failures are bad, their fear will only grow, hindering a growth mindset. The best way to eliminate this problem is to acknowledge and celebrate failures as learning opportunities instead of solely celebrating successes.
Source: Verywell Mind
How does this Strategy Help?
This approach teaches children that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and encourages a growth mindset. It also reduces the fear of failure and promotes confidence in trying new things, which is every parent's ultimate goal.
Helpful Tip:To take this a step further, discuss when you faced setbacks and what you learned from them. Teach your kid the power of using a written prompted journal or bullet planner to track their learning. To take this idea further, we've written about the power of using a written and prompted journal or bullet planner to encourage growth and track progress. While the journal we have is focused for parents specifically, it's a good habit you can teach your kids while they're young. As a parent, it’s important to not only celebrate achievements but also to focus on the efforts your child puts in, and the knowledge gained from them.
5. Use Role Play to Teach Confidence and Communication
Another approach to helping raise confident kids is role-play. It’s an effective strategy for assisting children in developing confidence and learning how to navigate social challenges by acting out different scenarios. This equips them with the words, tone, and confidence they need to handle conflicts, stand up for themselves, and assert their boundaries.
Source: Little Dreamers Nursery
How does this Strategy Work?
A meta-analysis published in Educational Psychology Review found a positive correlation between pretend play and social competence in early childhood (ages 3–8). This suggests that children who engage in role-play are better equipped to interact socially and navigate complex interpersonal situations.
To implement this, you can simply use toys or props or act it out together. Choose a scenario your child might encounter, such as dealing with teasing, asking for help, or making a friend. After that, guide them by whispering in their ear what their next move or response should be.
Help Your Kids Shine While Taking Care of Yourself
Implementing the right tips to raise confident kids is highly rewarding but can also be emotionally demanding for parents. However, your kids can only grow to be their best selves if you, as a parent, are at your best.
This is where the Level Up Game Plan app steals the spotlight. This app is specifically designed for parents to help them manage the anxiety, exhaustion, and burnout that come with raising kids. So, don’t hesitate to take the first step toward a healthier, more balanced family life with us to raise confident and independent kids. Start your free trial today!