LEVEL UP PARENTING
KEY SUMMARY
Positive self-talk can significantly boost your confidence and reduce anxiety as a parent. Dr. Jason Selk explores practical ways to transform your inner dialogue, creating a calmer, more positive home environment. Learn easy techniques for managing parental anxiety, building lasting confidence, and fostering emotional resilience for both you and your children.

Have you ever listened to the voice inside your head?

I’m not talking about a literal voice—more like your inner dialogue. That little voice influences your mood, behavior, and overall mental wellness. And if you're a parent like me, you've probably noticed that voice tends to be pretty critical. The good news? You can transform it into your greatest ally.

Why Positive Self-Talk Matters for Parents

I've worked with numerous families through my years as a cognitive behavior therapist, and I've consistently noticed something: the way parents talk to themselves drastically affects their parenting experience. When you switch from negative to positive self-talk, you're not only kinder to yourself but you're also creating a healthier emotional space for your family.

One idea I've often emphasized—and found heavily supported—is that positive thinking significantly reduces stress and anxiety. According to this guide from Mayo Clinic, shifting your internal narrative positively impacts your emotional resilience.

Reframing Your Inner Dialogue

Imagine you're dealing with a tough day at work, feeling overwhelmed, and then coming home to a chaotic household. It's easy to think, "I'm failing as a parent." But instead, try saying, "Today was hard, but I'm capable of handling this." The change might seem subtle, but the impact isn't.

I often remind parents that positive self-talk can be especially helpful when you're managing parental anxiety. Changing negative thoughts to reassuring, supportive ones helps you approach challenges calmly instead of spiraling into anxiety.

How Positive Self-Talk Builds Confidence

Think about moments when your child achieved something amazing. Chances are, you praised them, encouraged them, and boosted their confidence. But are you giving yourself the same treatment? Confidence isn't only something we foster in our kids—it's vital for us too.

A recent Psychology Today article highlights that self-talk directly influences our emotional well-being and self-esteem. When you repeatedly tell yourself, "I've got this," your brain starts to believe it. Suddenly, challenges become opportunities to demonstrate your capability.

Positive Self-Talk and Parenting Success

One critical lesson I've learned—and something that parents consistently find valuable—is that teaching your children positive self-talk is essential for raising confident kids. Children mirror your behavior. When you model self-compassion, your kids naturally adopt that positivity.

This principle echoes something important I've shared with many families: our kids are watching us, even when we think they aren't. How we handle stress, setbacks, and successes gives them a blueprint for their own emotional resilience.

Starting Small Makes a Big Difference

You don’t have to overhaul your mindset overnight. Start small. Tomorrow morning, say something kind to yourself. Maybe it's, "I did my best today," or "I handled that tantrum pretty well." Even these minor affirmations build up over time.

And let’s talk practicality. I've personally witnessed incredible changes in parents who incorporate simple journaling routines. Our Level Up Daily Journal—which many parents swear by—focuses precisely on these small yet impactful shifts in thought. (Link Out To Daily Journal here)

Positive Self-Talk Isn’t Ignoring Problems

A common misconception is that positive self-talk means ignoring reality. That's not true. It's about acknowledging difficulties honestly, then choosing to face them constructively. You're still addressing issues—but from a healthier mindset.

For instance, instead of saying, "I can't deal with my teenager," say, "Teenage years are challenging, but I'm equipped to navigate this." Notice the difference? You're acknowledging reality but empowering yourself to handle it positively.

How I Incorporate Positive Self-Talk

For years, I've practiced what I preach. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I pause, take a breath, and say something reassuring to myself. It might sound simple—and honestly, it is. But that's why it works. Simplicity means sustainability.

I strongly recommend adopting a daily ritual that supports this habit. Even a quick 4-minute daily exercise—like we have in our app (Link Out To Level Up Game Plan app here)—can reinforce your mental wellness significantly.

You’re More Capable Than You Think

Remember, shifting your inner dialogue doesn't require perfection. It's a journey of consistency, kindness, and patience. Your confidence and reduced anxiety will come from being genuinely compassionate towards yourself.

Today, I invite you to listen closely to your inner voice. Is it supportive? Is it helpful? If not, now is the perfect moment to change that conversation. Your mind, your family, and your future self will thank you.

References

  1. “Positive Thinking: Stop Negative Self-talk to Reduce Stress.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950.
  2. “The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk.” Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/202205/the-benefits-of-positive-self-talk.
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Dr. Jason Selk

Written By Dr. Jason Selk

Co-Founder, Level Up Game Plan

Dr. Jason Selk is a renowned mental performance coach and author, specializing in mental toughness and high-performance training. As the Director of Mental Training for the St. Louis Cardinals, he helped the team win two World Series titles. Dr. Selk's mission with Level Up Game Plan is to equip parents with practical tools to improve mental health and family well-being.

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