What Are the 4 Approaches to Self-Growth?

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a loop, just going through the motions without actually growing?

Trust me, I've been there. As a cognitive behavior therapist, I've spent countless hours working with parents who feel exactly the same way—caught in the grind, trying to balance work, family, and self-care without losing themselves in the process. Over the years, Dr. Jason Selk and I have identified four key approaches to self-growth that genuinely work. Let me share them with you, one by one.

Physical health isn't just about your body

The first step might seem obvious, but many parents overlook it—taking care of your physical health. I'm talking about more than just getting enough sleep or grabbing a salad for lunch. Your physical health directly affects your mood, your mental clarity, and even how patient you are with your kids. In fact, research from Harvard clearly shows that exercise significantly boosts your mood. It's as much for your mind as it is for your body.

Personally, I've found that even a 15-minute daily walk can dramatically change how I feel and respond throughout the day. You don't need to overhaul your life overnight—start small, stay consistent, and see how your energy shifts.

Your mental health shapes your parenting

Taking care of your mental health is just as critical as physical wellness, and I've seen firsthand how easy it is to ignore until you're overwhelmed. You might think mental health means therapy and deep discussions—and while those help, there's simpler steps you can take daily.

For instance, I encourage parents to try using a prompted bullet journal. Journaling helps you organize your thoughts, manage stress, and improve your mood. In fact, 96.7% of parents who've adopted journaling have reported a noticeable improvement in their mental health within weeks. I use it myself to keep clarity on tough days.

Emotional health keeps you grounded

Your emotional health can feel more abstract, but it's essential. This isn't about being happy all the time; it's about understanding and managing your emotions effectively. Dr. Jason Selk always reminds clients—and I deeply agree—that recognizing your emotional triggers and learning how to respond calmly can transform your family life.

I recommend parents set up a regular self-care routine to help stay emotionally balanced. Self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary. It allows you to pause and recharge. Even simple practices, like a short meditation or spending a few minutes alone each day, can help you become a calmer and more responsive parent.

Spiritual health connects you to something bigger

Spiritual health doesn't always mean religion, though it can if that resonates with you. It’s about feeling connected to something greater, giving purpose and meaning to your life beyond day-to-day stress.

A compelling study from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health highlights that those who cultivate their spiritual health often experience better physical and mental health outcomes. Whether through meditation, time in nature, or engaging deeply with your community, connecting spiritually can offer powerful comfort and reduce anxiety.

I've noticed when parents focus on nurturing their spiritual lives—even in simple ways like gratitude practices—they feel more anchored and less reactive to life's daily hurdles.

The integrated approach works best

While it's beneficial to focus individually on physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health, integrating these areas can create significant shifts. Dr. Selk frequently stresses this concept, explaining how improving one area naturally enhances others. For example, when I started journaling regularly (mental health), I felt emotionally steadier, more connected spiritually, and had increased energy for physical activity.

Likewise, many parents who've addressed parental burnout by recognizing and adjusting their habits in these four areas see tremendous relief. Managing burnout isn't about making drastic life changes; it’s about consistent, small shifts in your routine that prioritize your holistic well-being.

Start simple, but start now

Don't wait for perfect timing—start with what feels manageable today. Could you walk ten minutes? Journal for five? Take a brief pause to breathe deeply when stressed? It's these tiny habits that lead to significant changes over time.

Dr. Selk often emphasizes this point during our discussions: the key is consistency, not perfection. I completely agree. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it's essential, and your family will notice the difference. I promise.

References

• Harvard Health Publishing. "More Evidence That Exercise Can Boost Mood." Harvard Health, www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/more-evidence-that-exercise-can-boost-mood. Accessed 9 May 2025.
• Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. "Spirituality Linked with Better Health Outcomes, Patient Care." Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/spirituality-better-health-outcomes-patient-care. Accessed 9 May 2025.
• Level Up Game Plan. "Prompted Bullet Journaling for Mental Wellness." Level Up Game Plan, levelupgameplan.com/mindful-parenting-resources/6609/prompted-bullet-journaling-for-mental-wellness. Accessed 9 May 2025.
• Level Up Game Plan. "Self-Care Routine for Parents." Level Up Game Plan, levelupgameplan.com/mindful-parenting-resources/6619/self-care-routine-for-parents. Accessed 9 May 2025.