Have you ever felt like you’re constantly falling behind, no matter how hard you try to keep up? Or that simple tasks feel overwhelming, like there's an invisible barrier holding you back?
As a parent, you're likely juggling a million things at once—work, family, personal responsibilities—and you may feel like you’re barely staying afloat. Poor executive functioning can be a big part of that. And while we often associate *executive dysfunction* with children or those with ADHD, it can be just as prevalent in adults, especially those who are dealing with the daily grind of parenting and managing stress. But what does poor executive functioning actually look like in adults?
Understanding Executive Functioning
At its core, *executive functioning* refers to the cognitive skills we use to plan, organize, prioritize, and manage our time effectively. Think of it as the brain's "CEO"—it helps you make decisions, keep track of multiple tasks, and stay focused. When these skills are impaired, it can have a noticeable impact on various aspects of life.
I see it often in my work: parents struggling to meet deadlines at work, forgetting important appointments, or feeling constantly behind on chores. It’s more than just *disorganization*—it’s a cognitive struggle that can make daily functioning feel like an uphill battle.
Dr. Jason Selk and I often discuss how the overwhelming feeling of being *disconnected* from your own tasks can happen even in the most well-meaning adults. This is often a key indicator of poor executive functioning—you're overwhelmed and find it hard to focus on what needs to get done. Whether it’s managing the kids' schedules or remembering to pay bills on time, everything feels like a giant to-do list that never ends. And it’s exhausting.
Signs of Poor Executive Functioning in Adults
As I work with many families, the signs of poor executive functioning come up often. From *forgetting appointments* to struggling with organization, here are some of the most common signs:
- Chronic disorganization and clutter around the house or workspace
- Inability to prioritize tasks effectively, often leading to missed deadlines
- Difficulty starting or finishing projects, especially those that require focus over time
- Procrastination, even on tasks that feel urgent
- Lack of impulse control, which can lead to making rash decisions
- Frequent forgetfulness, like forgetting to follow through on plans or commitments
One Reddit user explained it well when they shared that they often struggle with keeping track of simple tasks like paying bills or making calls, even when they know they should be done. They described it as a constant cycle of starting something but never finishing it—an all-too-common experience for those with poor executive functioning.
If you find yourself relating to any of these signs, it might be time to consider how executive dysfunction is affecting your life. I always tell parents, “Don’t blame yourself. These things are symptoms, not failures.” Recognizing the issue is the first step towards creating a plan that works.
How Executive Dysfunction Impacts Parents
As a parent, poor executive functioning can feel like a double whammy. Not only are you trying to manage your own tasks, but you're also responsible for your children's needs. The mental load is real, and it’s draining. And let’s not even get started on balancing the needs of your partner and the rest of your family. It’s no wonder that so many parents end up feeling burnt out.
I can’t tell you how often parents reach out saying they feel like they’ve dropped the ball in multiple areas of their life. When *task initiation* and *follow-through* are a struggle, even the most basic parenting tasks, like making a school lunch or sending an email, can feel overwhelming.
It’s not about laziness. It’s about a disconnect between what you *want* to do and what you’re able to do because your brain is struggling with the executive functions that help you stay organized and manage your time. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of burnout. If you want to learn more about *parental burnout* and how to tackle it, I recommend checking out the post on *parental burnout* on our site—it’s something that many parents face when juggling multiple responsibilities. You can check it out here.
Strategies to Overcome Executive Dysfunction
While executive dysfunction can feel overwhelming, the good news is that there are strategies you can implement to improve these skills. Dr. Ellen Reed and I have spent years helping parents develop mental wellness habits, and here are a few of the most effective strategies we recommend:
- Use a written journal or planner: Keeping track of your tasks and setting goals in a *dedicated journal* can help organize your thoughts and create a visual reminder of what needs to be done. As I’ve mentioned before, *journaling* has proven to improve mental health and keep your goals in focus. If you're interested in learning how journaling can enhance executive functioning, take a look at our article on *journal writing for better mental health* here.
- Break tasks down into smaller chunks: Big tasks can be overwhelming, so breaking them into smaller, manageable pieces helps to make them feel more doable.
- Set reminders and alarms: Using digital tools or physical reminders for tasks can help ensure you don’t forget important responsibilities.
- Prioritize self-care: Taking time for self-care is essential. The more you can reduce stress, the easier it becomes to focus and stay organized. This is where incorporating mindfulness techniques or finding time to recharge can be a game changer.
If you’re looking for a place to start, *this article* on how to boost *executive functioning skills* has more tips that can help you get back on track. You can read it here.
When It Feels Like Too Much
It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by everything that comes with poor executive functioning. But you don’t have to navigate it alone. The strategies we’ve discussed here, paired with a proactive mental wellness plan like the one we’ve built at Level Up, can help you build better habits and regain control of your time and tasks.
If you ever feel like the weight of it all is too much to handle, I encourage you to seek out support. Whether that’s through professional help, a supportive community, or simply using a tool to organize your thoughts, there’s no shame in asking for help. We all need a little assistance sometimes, and taking small steps toward improvement can make all the difference in the long run.
If you’d like to learn more about building executive function and mental wellness habits, be sure to check out *this post* on supporting children with special needs and how it correlates to executive function here.
References
Selk, Jason, and Reed, Ellen. "What Does Executive Dysfunction Look Like in Adults?" *Reddit*, 2023. https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/u5w31t/what_does_executive_dysfunction_feel_like/.
“Supporting Children with Special Needs.” Level Up Game Plan, https://levelupgameplan.com/mindful-parenting-resources/6632/supporting-child-with-special-needs.